32 Thoughts During Senior Project

Over the course of the six months I've worked on my senior project, there were many different emotions that I felt. It was the largest and longest project I've ever worked on. In the end, a piece of my soul was left in the project. You can see the project itself and read a description about it here. Below, you will find a summation of my feelings in chronological order.


Thur. Aug. 24 Ok. first day of Senior Studio. I wonder what it's going to be like. It's from 6-10pm. They can't keep us there for four hours! What can we do for four hours on the first day? No! We will actually be here for all 4 hours? These stools are making my butt hurt... there's a reason why I prefer to sit in a comfortable chair in front of a computer. Oh ok, the professors are going to feed us dinner. EVERY Thursday was have this late class? Ok I can get behind this. I have to know what my project is by TUESDAY??? I spent all summer thinking about this and I still don't know!! It's like being in a committed relationship with someone for 6 months. I need to make sure I actually like what I am doing. Ok I can do this.

Tue. Sept. 1 Can I just make something pretty? Of course not. It has to mean something. This HAS to be AMAZING. Ok maybe China?  A GIANT BOOK ON CHINA!!! Ya no. That is way too much information. Ok. Maybe a children's book? Well I have to turn something in. China it is! Still too broad? Ok Chinese New Year. I know a little about that, so I'm not completely ignorant. Do something for the children. People can appreciate things done for the children, right? 

Thur. Sept. 3 I am so glad they are feeding us today. Yay my topic idea doesn't totally suck! I knew people could get behind helping the children.

Mon. Sept. 7 So first proposal is due tomorrow. I really hope this is correct. I never wrote a proposal before. Can I just do what I want? Ugh. It's too long. What can I cut down? I guess I can cut down a few words.

Thur. Sept. 10 They didn't think my proposal was enough?! It's missing something? What is it missing? I'm so tired of these mind games. Really, I can't just make something pretty? Ok back to the drawing board. I have to have a new proposal by TOMORROW?? Nope. Not enough time. Fine. I guess I'll do it. What do I need to do? It needs to be more educational? The entire book is about describing Chinese New Year traditions. Books are a source of knowledge. It's already educational! Ok fine. I'll add in a history part and how-to part. Bam. Done. And it's 1 a.m....

Mon. Sept. 14 I'm drinking green tea while researching about Chinese New Year. Such a perfect combination. The Asian in me is really coming out. This should be coffee.

Tue. Sept. 22 I have to present my project in two days. TWO DAYS. I hate presenting. I always get nervous and start talking fast. At least this is just to the class and not to the public. I can do this. We've survived worse together. I'm in a good place. The outline of the text is done. I just need to pull together a presentation. I'll put a picture of my Por Por. That will make people like the project. How can you hate a photo of a cute told Chinese lady?

Thur. Sept. 24 The Art Building caught on fire??? Oh, it was just the bathroom. Oh, just some paper in the bathroom. Still scary, but at least it's still standing. Going to Trustee for class? Ok. I like that room more anyway. I have to present! At least I am being fed first. So happy for food. Aw yay everyone love the photo of my Por Por. Maybe this project will actually work out well.

Wed. Sept. 30 I really want to sleep.... but I need to finish this story text. Almost done. More coffee? No. I already had 3 today. Must stick to the limit. It's 1am. Time to go to sleep. Must stick to the limit.

Fri. Oct. 2 I'm getting back good edits and feedback from friends. They are so great for taking time to read parts of the story. I really owe them sometime.

Mon. Oct. 5 Just keep editing. I really should start actually designing this thing. Hmm what typeface should I use? Why does this have to be so hard? Why doesn't anyone understand how hard choosing a typeface is? I've been looking through the Font Book for an hour now. Just pick one. Who has time for all of this? I really should leave this lab at some point.

Sun. Oct. 18 I need to start placing the text, This is really tedious. Is there an easier way to do this? Yes. Of course I HAD to do it the hard way. I really want some coffee. 

Wed. Oct. 21 When was the last time I got more than 5 hours of sleep? Oh ya. There was that one night during the first week of the semester. More coffee. Must keep working.

Tue. Oct. 27 Thank goodness we have the vinyl cutter. I don't know how I would survive without it. There is NO WAY I am going to do all these Chinese paper cut outs by hand. Why does it keep messing up? This is supposed to be easy. Of course nothing is ever easy. I have one done. It's not even the final. It's just one for practice. That took 2 hours to figure out. Dang it.

Mon. Nov. 2 The first prototype is due tomorrow?? NO. I can run away and join the circus right? Who needs a degree? I'm pretty flexible. Sure clowns scare me, but that's ok. I can be an acrobat. No. That's silly. I hate clowns. Must finish book pages. I just need a PDF ok. Not too bad. More coffee.

Thur. Nov. 5 Ok I'm in a decent place with my project. Public Presentations are next week?! I have to PRESENT ON MY PROJECT TO THE PUBLIC?! Ok really considering running away to the circus now. I can get over the whole afraid of clowns thing.

Wed. Nov. 11 MORE COFFEE

Thur. Nov. 12 Ok Public Presentation time. I can do this. I'm second so I'll just be getting it over with. Sweet hardly anyone is here. This means a very few number will see me screw up. My turn. I can do this. Just breath. Oh crud what was I going to say next? Um. There's a photo of my family. I have to say something. I can't just stand here. Ok cool that made them laugh. I'll just be adorkable. Channel my inner Zoe Deschanel. They laughed again. This is good. Not professional at all, but good. Yes I'm done! Oh I can't leave the stage? Oh ya I have to answer questions. Just act like Zoe Deschanel. Ok. Now I'm done? Oh thank goodness.

Sat. Dec. 5 I really want to sleep. Can I sleep? Oh no. I need to keep working. It must be completed.

Wed. Dec. 9 Final Crit. I have stuff. Is it done? No. Is it really good? No. But at least it's something? Ok so they all gave me completely different feedback. Who do I listen to? I'm just going to do my thing. I really want to try and sleep during this break.

Sat. Dec. 19 Hm. Is joining the circus still an option?

Fri. Jan. 1 I have some book covers! They are bad. I need something though. There is something.

Sun. Jan. 3 I'm back in the ATX! Finally. Time to buckle down with this project. I have my to-do list. I need to get things done this week before classes start. 

Thur. Jan. 7 THE BOOK IS PRINTED! THE BOOK IS PRINTED! Oh hallelujah. All good things, all good things.

Tues. Jan. 12 There aren't any lab monitors in this week? How am I going to finish these paper cut outs? I need that vinyl cutter. Fine I guess I'll have to wait.

Fri. Jan. 15 It's only been a week of classes? It feels so much longer. Drink more coffee. All good things.

Wed. Jan. 20 What do you mean the vinyl cutter is broken? It can't be broken. I need it! IT HAS TO BE FIXED. So they're going to fix it? Ok good. 

Fri. Jan. 22 The vinyl cutter works again. YES!!! NOW I CAN DO ALL THE THINGS! My first book is bound! I can do this! I can do this!

Thur. Jan. 28 My last book is bound and assembled! YES!!! I AM DONE!! Minus the paper fortune cookies and exhibition signage. THE BIG PART IS DONE THOUGH!

Mon. Feb. 1 The books are in the gallery! The books are in the gallery! Now to prep for the gallery opening! Countdown 4 days.

Mon. Feb. 4 Why can't gallery set-up be easy? Just give me a place to put these books and I am good to go.

Mon. Feb. 5 The Exhibition opens! Now I can breath. All good things happen. Everyone came through and pulled off some good work. I am so proud of all of them. Now sleep.